suggestions
Avoid agreeing and disagreeing in the same sentence
23/03/14 16:31 Filed in: communication
It is a well used phrase 'yes I agree with you but…' that tries to make out we are in agreement and then give reasons why we are not. The yes-but combination confuses things and gives conflicting messages. It is far better to separate what we do agree with and what we don't agree with. You can try these responses instead: Read More...
New bullying behaviour book due out soon
Sorry for the lack of posts recently. This has been due to devoting a lot of attention to the new book which is due out soon. Intervening In Bullying Behaviour: Nine Ways to Take Direct Action is in the final stages of production and should be on sale by the end of September.
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Three ways of asking questions that should be avoided
When you meeting with others to talk about issues it can be very tempting to start off with a question. This can help raise the issue in a non threatening way and also find out more about the issue. It can help you find out how the other person views the problem. But you should avoid doing the following Read More...
Subtle messages we send
01/06/13 10:35 Filed in: communication
There are times when we do not realise what we are saying is contributing to poor communication. We can use words that add meaning into sentences that can sound sarcastic, or demeaning. They modify what we are trying to say that can unintentionally or intentionally annoy and attack others. Some words to watch out for include: Read More...
The 4 keys to a proactive response to mobbing behaviours
23/02/13 09:42 Filed in: behaviour | strategies
How to deal with mobbing behaviours is a challenge. It is likely that some outside help might be needed. Sheehan (2004) suggests using 4 types of response: problem solving, skill development, understanding and solution focus. Read More...
How to promote decency in any organisation
It takes more than good intentions to have a pleasant and successful workplace, school or organisation. You need the right structures, policies and procedures to help people get things done and ensure everyone is treated with respect. However you also need to be able to deal with issues effectively. Below is some ways in which you can promote a healthy organisation and minimise some of the risk factors.
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More common mistakes to avoid #3
Working with young people can have many challenges. There is lots we can do to help and there is some things we should look to avoid. Here are three more things to avoid. Read More...
9 responses to dealing with bullying behaviour
You might have guessed from recent posts that bullying behaviour is something I have been working on recently. I have been looking at ways you can respond if you see or hear of it occurring. There looks to be nine ways of doing something about it:
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Good ideas in Anti-Bullying handbook
13/10/12 15:29 Filed in: resources
There are a number of books on bullying behaviour and The Anti-Bullying Handbook 2nd edition by Keith Sullivan is a good one. The reason is the 5 chapters (about 60 pages) devoted to different types of interventions. While aimed at those working in school settings there is lots to learn about interventions that could be used in other situations. Like so many other books it covers defining & describing the problem, planning & implementing a policy to address the issue and preventative strategies. Read More...
It's not bullying, but it is bullying behaviour
10/10/12 11:43 Filed in: behaviour | communication
I have been reading quite a lot at the moment regarding the problem of "bullying". A quick count of my personal library of books is up to 13, plus of course there is also articles, websites and downloads. Some of the way the subject is discussed concerns me because I come from a strength based approach. Using the label "bullying" can be counter productive. Read More...
Responding to talking things up
When young people get to gather they love to talk. But if it is "deviant talk" then this can be a problem when it is not held in check. Talking up inappropriate behaviour which is then received positively by peers, can encourage the group to act out those behaviours. Read More...
Don't allow the smoke to distract you from the fire
31/08/12 12:22 Filed in: behaviour | strategies
Dealing with young people smoking is problematic at the best of times. While not wanting to condone the practice you sometimes need to move through the vale of smoke so that you can work on other important behavioural problems. That means accepting that they are going smoke. Here is some idea's on working with adolescence smokers. Read More...
A pause for thought can…
A pause for thought can make all the difference in handling inappropriate behaviour. For everyone involved. Too often it is tempting to fall into a mental trap that speed and urgency is good. Let's just get it over with and move on. That fails to take into account people need time to think about their actions. Read More...
Five tactics to avoid in conflicts
15/08/12 14:39 Filed in: options | strategies
Conflict is always going to occur and that is healthy. To have a health conflict everyone needs to work constructively and play fair. The following 5 tactics should be avoided as they will only make things worse. Read More...
Five words to avoid in difficult conversations
14/08/12 13:20 Filed in: communication
In difficult conversations what and how you say things can make a big different to the response that you get. Try and avoid these 5 words: Read More...
6 Tips for sending clear messages
09/08/12 10:32 Filed in: response-styles | communication
Sometimes we try to be too nice by not being direct in what we say. We worry more about not hurting others feelings than getting our message across clearly. Now, we do not need to be aggressive or nasty but we should be truthful. Here are 6 ways we can improve: Read More...
Denying feelings never helps
We all have feelings. Even though some of us may find it at times difficult to recognise or understand them. It is amazing how often we can ignore this fact and this can lead to two possible impacts. We can sometimes deny our own feelings or we deny the feelings of others. Read More...
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