Apr 2012
Ignoring can help you get a solution
21/04/12 11:23 Filed in: enact | strategies
I was flicking through a book the other day and a strategy that was in it gave me one of those ‘yes, I have done that’ moments. Because I had not included this as a strategy in my book I thought I should share it here. The author Bill Rogers called it tactical ignoring. It refers to concentrating on one behaviour while ignoring others on purpose. Read More...
10 styles you can use to respond
It can make you feel pretty angry or down when a behaviour does not change even after you have assertively responded to an issue. I learnt the hard way that it is useful to be able to mix up your responses. If something is not working, then try a different way. The stuck CD endlessly repeating sometimes works but in lots of cases does more harm than good. I have identified 10 different styles of response which can help you choose different ways of responding to these challenges. Read More...
Book soon to be release on Amazon
20/04/12 10:06 Filed in: resources
Now that the dust has settled on publishing the book I am looking at ways of making it easy to get hold of a copy. That means an ebook version and availability on some of the biggest online stores. The aim is to have these purchase options available towards the end of May but hopefully sooner. Read More...
Only use I-messages for good
I-messages are great ways to communicate assertively in lots of different situations. But it is worth remembering that they can also be used negatively to try and manipulate someone. Like all tools they can be used for good and bad purposes. So how can people manipulate others?
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Understanding the difference between I-messages and You-messages
You might want to read ‘You-messages can work for and against you’ to get the background for this post. I had pointed out that you can have an I-message and a You-message combined like ‘I feel angry when you call me names’. It is common for those new to I-messages to use I feel …(feeling) when you … (behaviour). But an effective I-message does not contain a ‘you’ in it. Read More...
You-messages can work for and against you
Following on from my previous post ‘How to get your message across respectfully’ the other way we can communicate is using You-messages. In You-messages, the message contains either you or you’re in it. For example, ‘You make me so angry when you don’t clean up after yourself.’ Using a You-messages blames the person for the situation and judges them. So it pays to know when to use one. Read More...
How to get your message across respectfully?
It is easy to do. Lose your cool in the heat of the moment and say something that you later regretted. It is in these times that I-messages are your friend and a tool for all occasions. They get the message across about how you feel and what behaviour made you feel that way. And that is not the only benefit. Read More...
4 Secrets to creating good behaviour agreements
I think having an agreement on what is the expected behaviour norms is essential in encouraging positive behaviour. That is because agreements outline types of behaviour, rules and/or boundaries to follow. It will lay the groundwork for consistency, justifying why the behaviour is not appropriate and creates expectations of mutual respect. A good agreement needs to have four things: Read More...
Author Questions and Answers
08/04/12 10:31 Filed in: myself
I am sure there are plenty of questions people want to ask about the book and how I came to write it. So I put together a Q and A which should satisfy many of the queries people might have. Rather then bury them in the blog I have created a web page with all that information in one place. So if your interested in knowing:
Who should buy your book?
Why should people buy your book instead of a different book on the subject?
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Who should buy your book?
Why should people buy your book instead of a different book on the subject?
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See inside the book
07/04/12 15:23 Filed in: resources
So people can try before they buy, I thought that they might want to look inside the book. I know I do when looking at books on Amazon. If I cannot take a look inside then most times I wonder if it is really what I want. So click on the book cover image below and take a closer look if you have not already.
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Benefits of what is in the book video
06/04/12 16:15 Filed in: resources
If you having been looking around the website you may have already seen the video of me discussing the benefits of the book. For those that have not, the video is below as well as the transcript.
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A quick tour of inside the book
06/04/12 15:04 Filed in: resources
A quick summary of what you will find in the book. The book contains:
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Book now available for purchase
04/04/12 07:18 Filed in: resources
After the slight delay I am now happy to announce the book is available for purchase online through the bookshop run by publish-me.com.au The buy page and side bar on most pages has the link which will take you direct to the book page on that site. From there you can select the postage option and then go on to payment. Secure payment is handled by paypal and you have the options to pay by a paypal account and of course mastercard, visa or discovery card. Other online options are coming soon. Read More...
Availability via online purchase delayed
03/04/12 08:45 Filed in: resources
I want to apologise to any who looked at the site sunday, yesterday and today hoping to make a purchase. There has been a few problems getting the book listed in the online book stores. This is currently being attended to. Read More...
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