response-styles
Don't make a bad situation worse
19/04/14 11:20
You have just had a target of bullying behaviour report it to you. There are a number of ways that you can address the issue. But what you say to the target can make a huge difference to the way they feel about themselves and the confidence they will have in you dealing with the situation. While there is lots of well meaning advice out there, here is some that should be avoided. Read More...
Do not take the behaviour personally
15/12/13 09:23
When a person is using inappropriate behaviour it is easy to feel like they are personally attacking us. Sometimes this might be the case but in lots of circumstances Read More...
Bullying behaviour book now available on Amazon
29/10/13 17:36
Finally Intervening In Bullying Behaviour: Nine Ways to Take Direct Action is now published and available to buy from amazon.com. If you are dealing with bullying behaviour it is a major challenge to find and use successful ways to intervene. The book gives you step by step instructions Read More...
Bullying behaviour book release soon
09/10/13 17:53
This post was suppose to say that you could now get your copy of Intervening in bullying behaviour: Nine ways to take direct action. Instead the update is it will still be a couple more weeks away. Read More...
New bullying behaviour book due out soon
01/09/13 19:50
Sorry for the lack of posts recently. This has been due to devoting a lot of attention to the new book which is due out soon. Intervening In Bullying Behaviour: Nine Ways to Take Direct Action is in the final stages of production and should be on sale by the end of September.
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More common mistakes to avoid #3
03/12/12 10:34
Working with young people can have many challenges. There is lots we can do to help and there is some things we should look to avoid. Here are three more things to avoid. Read More...
Navigating which method to use in dealing with bullying behaviour
20/11/12 09:15
The last 9 posts have outlined separate ways of responding to bullying behaviour. Each have strengths and weaknesses and times when they should and should not be used. It is hard to work out which path to go down so to help solve this I have developed the ROBB model. Read More...
Don't tolerate zero tolerance
23/09/12 17:26
As a policy for how we deal with inappropriate behaviour, zero tolerance wants us to believe that if we clamp down hard enough this fixes the problem. Any problem. But behaviour is a complex area and simplistic solutions do not address this complexity and lead to other issues. Read More...
The irony of passiveness
20/09/12 14:58
I quite like the Apple dictionary (v2.2.3) description of passive which is "accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance…" But what I really wanted to highlight was the interesting combination of possible messages that can be communicated though passive behaviour. Read More...
More common mistakes to avoid
13/09/12 09:30
Sorry for the gap in between postings, I have been away working. Here are three more common mistakes when working with young people.
Do not tell stories about your own misspent youth. Read More...
Do not tell stories about your own misspent youth. Read More...
6 Tips for sending clear messages
09/08/12 10:32
Sometimes we try to be too nice by not being direct in what we say. We worry more about not hurting others feelings than getting our message across clearly. Now, we do not need to be aggressive or nasty but we should be truthful. Here are 6 ways we can improve: Read More...
5 common mistakes when dealing with inappropriate behaviour
18/07/12 12:43
There are times when someones behaviour needs to have consequences. But there is some common things people do that hinder rather than help that person change their behaviour. Five common mistakes are: Read More...
5 useful phrases to use
08/07/12 13:55
There are many ways to say things that can help encourage appropriate behaviour. Here are 5 words or phrases that I use to describe behaviour that helps let the person know they are doing something that needs to change.
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-3
19/05/12 14:12
As outlined in rewards parts 1 & 2 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Here is a further 11 ideas for rewards for young children through to teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-2
16/05/12 09:39
As outlined in rewards part 1 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Below is 23 ideas for rewards for preteens and teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part 1
15/05/12 10:34
It helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. If there is a particular behaviour problem then getting an agreement to make changes can be supported with a reward when they do well. Here is 30 ideas for rewards for preschool & young children: Read More...
10 styles you can use to respond
20/04/12 10:54
It can make you feel pretty angry or down when a behaviour does not change even after you have assertively responded to an issue. I learnt the hard way that it is useful to be able to mix up your responses. If something is not working, then try a different way. The stuck CD endlessly repeating sometimes works but in lots of cases does more harm than good. I have identified 10 different styles of response which can help you choose different ways of responding to these challenges. Read More...
Only use I-messages for good
18/04/12 10:16
I-messages are great ways to communicate assertively in lots of different situations. But it is worth remembering that they can also be used negatively to try and manipulate someone. Like all tools they can be used for good and bad purposes. So how can people manipulate others?
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Understanding the difference between I-messages and You-messages
17/04/12 10:04
You might want to read ‘You-messages can work for and against you’ to get the background for this post. I had pointed out that you can have an I-message and a You-message combined like ‘I feel angry when you call me names’. It is common for those new to I-messages to use I feel …(feeling) when you … (behaviour). But an effective I-message does not contain a ‘you’ in it. Read More...
You-messages can work for and against you
13/04/12 12:24
Following on from my previous post ‘How to get your message across respectfully’ the other way we can communicate is using You-messages. In You-messages, the message contains either you or you’re in it. For example, ‘You make me so angry when you don’t clean up after yourself.’ Using a You-messages blames the person for the situation and judges them. So it pays to know when to use one. Read More...
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