Do not take the behaviour personally
15/12/13 09:23 Filed in: myself | response-styles
When a person is using inappropriate behaviour it is easy to feel like they are personally attacking us. Sometimes this might be the case but in lots of circumstances
this is not true. The situation can have a hugh effect on the behaviour. So as hard as it is, try and see the behaviour as meeting a need that has nothing to do with you. This helps reduce the emotional impact on yourself. But that does not mean that you cannot be the cause so self reflection is important.
Paradoxically, if you take the behaviour personally, you react in a way that might contribute to the behaviour. Reflecting on the way you treat the person and respond to the behaviour can help you see if you are contributing to the behaviour. A key measure of your possible involvement is does this type of behaviour occurring to others? When others experience similar behaviours from this person, this can indicate it is situational behaviour. If it only occurs when you are involved then begin to look at how your reactions and responses are influencing the situation and the behaviour.
By avoiding feeling that the behaviour is about you personally, this reduces strong emotions being present in your response and helps you use more objective and effective solutions.
Paradoxically, if you take the behaviour personally, you react in a way that might contribute to the behaviour. Reflecting on the way you treat the person and respond to the behaviour can help you see if you are contributing to the behaviour. A key measure of your possible involvement is does this type of behaviour occurring to others? When others experience similar behaviours from this person, this can indicate it is situational behaviour. If it only occurs when you are involved then begin to look at how your reactions and responses are influencing the situation and the behaviour.
By avoiding feeling that the behaviour is about you personally, this reduces strong emotions being present in your response and helps you use more objective and effective solutions.
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